thatfuckingcrowv2:

orlandobloomers:

instead of sending me nudes you can send me 

  • pics of you smiling with ur fave stuffed animal
  • pics of you smiling with ur mom 
  • pics of plants
  • pics of ur dog
  • pics of silly lookin bugs that u find 

send me the nudes while this geek eats a flower

219,597 notes
  • ghost hunters: can you communicate with us
  • *door creeks*
  • ghost hunters: oh so your name is william
520,200 notes

cherenigans:

do you think whoever was designing the default netflix avatar made a mistake somewhere but just sat there laughing at the result for so long that the whole design team decided to keep it

image

70,175 notes

hotwinger:

When your friend’s parent offers you a beverage, and you say no, even though you’re thirsty.

image

26,161 notes

ziggystardick:

Bestfri(end)
Boyfri(end)
Girlfri(end)
B(∞)ty

150,544 notes

batreaux:

You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train 

63,329 notes

phlynn:

remember when people choked on cinnamon to entertain the internet

343,896 notes

usb-dongle:

it has been one of my greatest dreams to beat the living shit out of something at least once so god fucking help anybody that ever tries to assault me because i will be brimming with every violent urge that i have ever tucked away in my entire life

294,853 notes

bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them
133,156 notes